Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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