You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
