I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
