It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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