I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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