How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
