No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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