I wish I could punch you in the face.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
