I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
