She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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