i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
