i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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