You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
