Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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