dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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