I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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