The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
