Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
