Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
