NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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