the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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