Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we're chasing vodka with high fives
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
