shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
