WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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