Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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