how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
