we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize