Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
