I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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