You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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