every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
