Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
love makes seman taste better
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
