I cockslap morals
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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