I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize