as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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