new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
