Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
