So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
