Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
