I didn't shave. On purpose
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
