don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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