He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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