I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
