the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
