We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
