Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
