After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
