every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
