not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
