i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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