This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
