we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
