I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
