Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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