oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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